Hi, I’m Peter Paul and I used to struggle with porn addiction. I was introduced to porn when I was 11 years old. Though I discovered porn at a young age, it was only at 19 that I became addicted to it. My porn addiction started when I moved out of my hometown to work in a big city. I didn’t know a lot of people in the new city. I was so lonely. I missed my family, my friends, and my community so much. As a way to comfort myself, I turned to porn.

I used porn to deal with the crippling loneliness. I started to watch porn several times a week, and I would orgasm two to three times in one session. Eventually, I quit my job and moved back to my hometown. Going back home actually made my porn addiction worse. 

When I was young, I was an achiever. I excelled academically from primary school to college. Quitting my first job was the first time I experienced failure. At that time, I felt a deep sense of shame. I felt like I was not able to meet the expectations of myself, my family, and my community. I succeeded in school, but I failed in real life. As a way for me to ease the feelings of shame and failure, I turned to porn. For about a year, I would watch porn every day for several hours, and I would orgasm multiple times.

At first, I was in denial. How can something that felt so good be so harmful? I justified watching porn and ejaculating every day as normal “male” behavior.  At one point, I was even proud of being able to ejaculate multiple times a day. What started as a way for me to comfort myself emotionally became a daily habit. That daily repetition transformed into an uncontrollable addiction.

I realized something was wrong when I started to feel that I no longer enjoyed the company of my friends. I can still clearly remember that specific occasion I was hanging out with my friends. They were all laughing, and I was laughing with them, but I was mentally absent. All I could think of was porn. There was always this nagging, powerful urge to watch porn that I could not get rid of. 

I also started to experience problems with my romantic relationship. I noticed that I had difficulty getting and maintaining erections. I had a girlfriend at that time and on multiple occasions, I would go soft while we were having sex. I would only get aroused if porn was playing in the background. Also, it would take me a long time to ejaculate. The worst part was, I felt that I preferred porn over the company of my then-girlfriend. That’s when I knew I had a problem.

A quick search on Google helped me realize that I was not alone. Millions of people worldwide were also in the same shoes as I was. They too were addicted to porn. Reading the stories of young men whose lives were negatively affected by excessive porn consumption and how they have successfully overcome porn addiction gave me comfort and hope. 

I told myself, “If they can do it, so can I”. It was going to be a solitary journey, but I was determined to arrive at my destination – complete freedom from porn. I wish I could say that the journey was smooth, but it was not. It was an emotional roller coaster filled with ups and downs. Going through countless relapses was emotionally and mentally exhausting. 

There would be weeks I would not watch porn and then out of nowhere, I would feel this powerful, relentless urge. The urge would be so strong that I would binge-watch porn for hours for a day or two. I felt like a dog chasing my own tail. I was not getting anywhere. 

I thought of quitting many times, but I am happy and grateful that I did not. The journey was difficult, but I made it. I defeated porn, and I reclaimed my life. Though overcoming porn addiction was a long, painful journey, I learned a lot of valuable lessons not only about porn addiction but also life in general. I became a better person because I had to go through a difficult situation that forced me to grow. I can proudly say that I am NOW completely free from porn.

Breaking free from my addiction to porn was one of the best decisions I ever made. My life has transformed into a vibrant and fulfilling experience, filled with joy and happiness beyond anything I could have imagined. I have accomplished incredible things that were once impossible while being trapped in the grips of porn and masturbation.

I earned a Master’s Degree in Business Administration in Bangkok, Thailand, landed a job as a Digital Marketing Manager for an American health startup, and overcame my fear of public speaking by joining Toastmasters. I even learned capoeira, a Brazilian martial art, and developed more confidence and self-esteem. These accomplishments are just a few of the many that I have achieved since freeing myself from the shackles of porn.

But what I treasure most is the healthy and loving relationship I have developed with myself, the improvement in my relationships with my family, and the incredible circle of friends who genuinely love and care for me. Meeting new people and expanding my circle of friends has added even more joy and happiness to my life. 

Since breaking free from my addiction to porn, my perspective on life and people has radically transformed. I no longer see people as mere sexual objects, but rather as complex individuals with unique personalities, desires, and aspirations. My life has become amazing, incredible, and phenomenal, and I’m filled with positive, hopeful, and optimistic thoughts. 

Every day, I experience gratitude for the new opportunities and experiences that are available to me. The dark clouds of anxiety and depression that once made my life unbearable have been lifted, and I now feel empowered to control my sexual urges, rather than the other way around. This newfound control over my thoughts and emotions has given me a renewed sense of self-worth and confidence and has allowed me to fully embrace my potential.

In addition, my life has become more fulfilling and enriched in every way. I feel more relaxed, peaceful, and content than ever before, and I’ve discovered a deeper sense of purpose and direction in life. With a healthy and balanced libido and sex drive, my sexual experiences are now truly satisfying and fulfilling. 

I’m no longer held captive by my past addiction and have gained the freedom to explore new passions, make meaningful connections, and live life on my own terms. Being free from porn has been an incredible journey of self-discovery, growth, and joy, and I’m grateful for every moment of it. I encourage anyone who is struggling with addiction to take the first step toward recovery and experience the transformative power of a porn-free life.